On Corporate Utility

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With all the radical ideas posted on this blog lately—and to be sure, we don’t mean ‘radical’ in the surfer sense—we here at Brad OH Inc. thought it necessary to provide to you, the dear customers of Brad OH Inc., with a quick statement of purpose.

At the heart of things, we’re a Utility Corporation… but not like that.

Corporations are often seen as cold, cruel, or callous conglomerations; caring little for their customers. This couldn’t be further from the truth!

In reality, we are utilitarian to the bone. Like Corporations everywhere, our goal here at Brad OH Inc. is to maximize customer satisfaction–because we care. We’ve come to find that the most effective way of maximizing net customer satisfaction is by focussing our energies entirely on increasing the total number of customers. We market simply to sell, and thus serve to increase the greater good… of our customers.

Because the customer is clearly such an integral factor in the success of Brad OH Inc., we feel it’s important to acknowledge this resource. We know that we’re part of a vibrant and functioning community—one from which we both reap benefits, and are obliged to provide great returns as well.

That’s why we feel it’s so very important to provide a regular stream of content—varied in all ways, to appeal to the greatest user base possible. Sometimes, you may come across an article you don’t agree with, or even one that offends you deeply. Don’t worry, that’s all part of the plan. Before you lament the callous ideals of this ‘heartless Corporation’, remember that one simply concept—utility.

It is the very process of providing the world with inconsistent messages and contradictory values that enables us to reach so very many people. Just think of it: if we were to focus on one single idea, we would only be effective in reaching people who support that idea, and the fan base of Brad OH Inc. would stagnate. Nobody wants that—least of all our shareholders!

Only by opening ourselves up to all avenues of thought can we truly capture the full market potential.

So before complaining about something you read, remember that although it may not be your cup of tea, there is surely some demented ideologue out there that supports it with all their heart. Clearly, that’s the sub-sect of the market we were going for that day, so kindly set aside your conceited self-interest.

At Brad OH Inc., we firmly believe that only through free ideas and open dialogue can we improve upon the foundations of our shared society. And only by ensuring that we cover all possible avenues of interest can we guarantee that the Brad OH Inc. fan base is everything it could possibly be. So don’t worry if something spits in the face of your deepest held moral convictions, just turn your other cheek and remind yourself that at the end of the day, we do it for you—the customer.

…Because we care.

Yours Sincerely,

Brad OH Inc.

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