“Between the Shelves”- Release and Interview with Brad OH Inc.

cropped-cropped-blogbanner13.jpgToday marks the official release of ‘Between the Shelves: A Tribute to Libraries by Edmonton Writers’, an anthology edited by Brad OH Inc. and Hal J. Friesen. This anthology is a collection of stories by writers from the ‘Edmonton Writer’s Group’, including one by Brad OH Inc. entitled ‘Neve Uncovers the Ultimate Truth of All things’.

The theme of this collection is our shared appreciation of libraries and all they offer to readers in Edmonton and beyond. The anthology is available now via CreateSpace in both digital ($2.99) and hard copy ($12.50) versions. All proceeds will be donated to the Edmonton Public Library System.

You can purchase your copy here:

BetweenTheShelvesCoverTo celebrate this release, we have an interview conducted by Hal J. Friesen with Brad OH Inc. about the content of the anthology.

  1. First things first: do you believe that people should be Corporations as well as vice versa?

That’s a great line of inquiry, and we here at Brad OH Inc. are thrilled to see your appreciation for such crucial issues. Really though, we think this may be two questions, and therefore we would be remiss to provide any less than two answers.

I’ll answer the second first, as it’s the easier answer. Let it be abundantly clear that the question of whether or not Corporations are people is no question at all: just ask Mitt Romeny! If you ignore the blathering after his key statement, we believe the point is made abundantly clear. But if you need it better articulated, you’ll find just that here.

Yes, there can be no doubt whatsoever that Corporations are not only people, but they are the very best of people. They are the creators and providers, they are the ones who inspire and build where others only talk and dream. This of course leads us to your other, more relevant question. Namely: Should people be Corporations?

This too is an easy answer—although again it requires some clarification…perhaps even a moderate touch of filibustering. Specifically, we need to discuss the word ‘should’. If we’re to take it in its proper sense, then we can say at the least that all people should endeavour to be Corporations, even if they will not all be able to achieve it. Obviously, people should strive to be their very best. Corporations are the best possible expression of humanity, and therefore we would encourage every person to strive to grow into a Corporate person. The benefits alone are outstanding: tax breaks, immortality, and utterly no risk from bankruptcy just to name a few.

Now, you may expect me to quote Ayn Rand here, but I’ll do you one better. In ‘The Republic’, Plato encourages a group of enlightened elites to lead the demos. What better expression of an enlightened elite than the Corporation? Our goals, clearly, are more evident and better pursued than the fickle worries of ordinary humans. That alone should suffice to illuminate the pressing need for Corporate leadership. Therefore, it behooves us here at Brad OH Inc. to encourage all basic people to aspire to greater accomplishments—namely, becoming Corporate. After all, an increase in Corporate presence is the highest hope for humanity…at least until we can achieve the end-goal of Corporate Suffrage.

  1. Have you or any members of Brad OH Inc ever had any embarrassing moments in a library? Any responses will be strictly off the record.

Here at Brad OH Inc., we hold ourselves to the highest possible standards of behaviour. Furthermore, we have a team of legal professionals on call at all times, ready to denounce responsibility for any perceived transgressions; so that clearly precludes the possibility of any officially acknowledged embarrassment.

With that out of the way, there is one incident we recall that may fit your need to publically deride the creative origins of our Corporate-Personhood. When we were just a young Corporate Human, we were reading aloud at a public library to a table of peers. Our chosen book was something about ‘Gnus’—those abominable animals that can’t quite decide what they are. The entire point of the book was that the word ‘Gnu’ sounds just like ‘new’ and ‘knew’, however this point was missed on our still developing phonetic-mandates. Therefore, we pronounced the word ‘Gnu’ as ‘Ga-noo’—entirely destroying the already limited humour of the book, and causing us significant lasting shame.

  1. Is Neve inspired by a member of Brad OH Inc?

Yes in fact, very astute of you to see this. There was a young girl we kept down in the copy room, from whom the name and likeness of the titular character are entirely derived. Have no fear however, the process was entirely by the books.

You see, Neve owned a small rat named Clarice, who one day managed to saw through one of the printer cables with its savage little teeth. Neve’s salary was insufficient to pay for the damages, and so, mercifully, we here at Brad OH Inc. appropriated her legal name and likeness, knowing well that we’d sooner or later find some way for it to pay off her debt. The story in this anthology is the fulfillment of that debt.

Neve has since been terminated.

  1. At what point in your own reading development did you move like Neve away from purely “happy” stories?

Looking back, we’d have to say that happened pretty early. Certainly, there were a number of happy-go-lucky stories read to us before we were officially granted our Corporate-Sovereignty, but even then, some our earliest official recollections involve having ‘The Hobbit’ and ‘The Lord of the Rings’ read aloud to us—and those are bitter-sweet at best.

If you’re at all familiar with our efforts—which you certainly should be—you’ll know that creation and meaning are imperative to the purposes of Brad OH Inc. To that end, we’ve found that simple, happy stories do little to address the questions so essential to the human/ Corporate experience. It’s through struggle that we grow…and heedless expansion is one of the key goals of Brad OH Inc. after all.

  1. Which Corporation has had the greatest inspiration on Brad OH Inc.’s mission statement?

That’s an interesting question. As far as our Corporate structure is concerned, we’ve worked hard to emulate all the greats: Enron, Lehman Brothers, JPMorgan Chase…all the essentials.

As far as our personal, creative goals, you probably already know that our Corporate Summary Statement is: ‘A thought conglomerate founded on the fundamental imperative of expounding erratically extreme philosophic tenets firmly grounded in hubristic narcissism.’ …it doesn’t get much more clear than that!

As for companies that inspire us on these grounds, the best example is probably Psychopathic Records. The self-founded label of the Insane Clown Posse, this label has succeeded not only in developing them from a tiny local rap act in metro-Detroit, to an international force to be reckoned with. Their dedication to the absurd has helped launch countless acts throughout their existence, and their passion for ethical-provocation and philosophical exploration is admirable. At Brad OH Inc., we hope to be as successful in providing such varied, yet philosophically consistent material.

Brad OH Inc.’s story “Neve Uncovers the Ultimate Truth of All Things” is featured in ‘Between the Shelves’, which you can purchase now on Amazon.

-Brad OH Inc.

‘Open and Close’

Under the Green Desk Lamp…

Green Desklamp

We’ve been getting some pretty great mileage out of our legal acquisition of the songs by former Edmonton band ‘Basic Human Indecency’, so naturally, we thought we’d continue with that trend.

Today’s song was the intended closer to the ‘Basic Human Indecency’ album that never was: ‘Open and Close’.

Open and Close

I’m not the first to sing this song

It’s been written for so long

To claim that we are strong

To admit when we are wrong

To wander when we’re lonely

I saw a star fall from the sky

There was no second try

You heard the last goodbye

Danced the rest out in a lie

And put it in a sad song

Another door slammed shut today

You watched her walk away

Thought what you would never say

Reason enough to pray

Once again you’ve lost your meaning

You make the sounds when you’re alone

The rushing crowd you’re on your own

You pick the pieces of your home

Out from the Gods that you have known

And say you do it for the last time…

-Brad OH Inc.

‘Lighthouse Lament’

Under the Green Desk Lamp…

Green Desklamp

Today on Brad OH Inc., we have another song to share from the former Edmonton based band ‘Basic Human Indecency’. As discussed with the previous song, ‘Overwhelmed’, these songs are the sole legal property of Brad OH Inc. But they’ve never been recorded, and have no other real use, so we’re more than happy to share them with you here.

The feature song/ poem today is the mournful tale of the sea: ‘Lighthouse Lament’.

Lighthouse Lament

A man and a boy

A boat and a storm

And a fear of where they were

A light and a horn

Far away through the fog

And a dream of where they weren’t

A rage in the boy

And a calm in the man

With the salt in his eye

And the wood in his hand

And the wind in his ear

Told him what she would be thinking

A sharp gasp out

Then a cracking sound

And a note in a bottle

Is all that was found

Of the man and his son

On the Homeward Bound

The winds keep tossing me alone

Stealing me from what I own

What I’ve known and sewn

And what I’ve grown

They take me far away from home…

-Brad OH Inc.

Ruminations of an Aspiring Super-Villain

Under the Green Desk Lamp…

Green Desklamp

I’ve had a pretty good life. As I look back, it’s all but impossible for me to deny it—I’ve been blessed. Of all the lives people lead, and all the myriad strokes of luck one might receive in birth, I really hit the figurative jackpot. I was born in a thriving nation, and into a loving family. I received a great education, have had no significant problems with my health, and have experienced absolutely no legitimate tragedies in my life.

Yeah, it’s enough to really piss a guy off.

As I think back on it, I’ve got to say it’s a bit unfair. So many potential catastrophes could have befallen me…and yet I come up short in every imaginable scenario that could have contributed to true greatness.

I’ve never fallen into a vat of radioactive chemicals. I’ve never been left an orphan with an inexhaustible inheritance. Hell, I’ve never even been the sole surviving member of a once proud race!

Holy hell, what’s a guy gotta do to catch a break? I mean, it would be nice to have some excuse to go ballistic and begin pursuing merciless world domination, don’t you think? But without a tragic origin story, doing so just makes you an asshole.

I feel like I’ve waited long enough. When do I get my chance to enslave the human race with a mind controlling radio-wave? And commanding an army of zombie-bears from the back of a T-Rex? Forget about it!

The factory in my town could have easily blown up, sending toxic gasses cascading down upon my home. I would have awoken in a post-apocalyptic hell, with nothing of my former life left, and only a painful cough to remind me of all I’d lost. But no, I guess that would be asking a bit much. So now, when I fantasize about creating a computer virus that turns the screens of all world-bank computers into scenes from ‘Where’s Waldo’ while channelling all extant wealth into my own offshore account—I just feel crazy.

With no heart-wrenching past to be angsty about, it’s pretty tough to be a maniac.

‘Oh Brad,’ you might say, ‘you can be anything you want if you just put your mind to it.’ Well to that I say you’d better check your damn privilege. Maybe you were wrongfully detained by law-enforcement while your family was burned before your eyes—but not everyone had villainy just handed to them on a silver platter.

Even if I wanted to launch a satellite full of dangerous pathogens into space, and hold the earth’s population hostage for enormous amounts of money, I would at the very least have needed to lose control of the majority of my body due to some biochemical accident in a forgotten Slavic town. But alas, I was raised happy and healthy.

Really, I’ve got to say there’s a disturbing sense of entitlement among the world’s evil-doers. You parade around wreaking havoc and causing general disarray, without even thinking about those of us who are cursed with being well-adjusted citizens. If I’m being honest, it makes me sick.

Whatever. Fuck it. I guess I’ll just do my job, and hang out with my friends, and all that other ‘normal’ stuff. But the next time you villains decide you’re going to poison the water supply with DNA-altering substances in order to sell the cure to the highest bidder, you’d damn well better consider reaching out. Otherwise, if ever a stray meteor wipes out my nation and leaves me charged with electrical powers but lacking all memory; struggling for years and barely clinging to life until finally raising myself up stronger, harder, and with an undying thirst for vengeance—you’d better look out!

Sooner or later, I will experience hardship; and when that day does come, those of you who’ve hoarded all the suffering to yourselves while leaving the rest of us to toil in tepid normalcy will have your reckoning. When you’re sitting comfortably in your lairs, stroking your Persian cat and watching the news on your wall-monitor, and you hear about me creating a mad cross-breed of giraffes and sharks, then turning the abominable creatures lose on Wall St.—then you’ll see my true potential.

Hard times and trauma are not a gift to be taken lightly. So appreciate what you’ve got, and hold on to that top spot while it lasts. Because let’s face it; I’m just one ‘wife-kidnapped by government agents in a terrible case of mistaken identity’ away from joining you on that mountain of chaos and lunacy. And when I do, you’ll wish you’d been more inclusive to those deprived of trauma in our formative years.

Just you wait…

-Brad OH Inc.

Profits and Prophets

Under the Green Desk Lamp…

Green Desklamp

Words are powerful things. They are our chief means of communication—assuming you can move past all that ‘body-language’ mumbo-jumbo—and thus serve as our key to expressing all ideas, plans, and opinions about the world around us. They allow us to apply labels, transfer knowledge, and express complex concepts to one another—passing information along and allowing it to grow across generations.

Words are the building blocks of language. They afford to us the ability not only to share our thoughts with one another—but to comprehend them ourselves. They apply meaning and value in a world of chaos; functioning to give context and relevance to what may otherwise be inconceivable. In an earlier article, we’ve actually covered how intangible it is to consider a world ‘Without Words’.

Words have the ability to convey great and terrible concepts—elevating us above the mire, or dragging us to the depths of despair. In this strange world or ours, there are even words which are considered too heavy to be spoken, whether because they are revered as sacrosanct, or reviled as curses.

Lately, there are two words in particular which have been troubling me. They are phonetic-twins: identical save for their spelling, and their meanings too have become all too dangerously similar. These are ‘profit’, and ‘prophet’.

Profits refer to the net gains made by an institution: usually monetary. In times like these, with corporations pulling the reins of government, and the media touting the notion that true ‘freedom’ is for the marketplace alone, profits have become the apple to the wild horses trampling all good sense and civility from our society.

Citizen interests are sold out for profits. Veterans are left homeless for profits. People suffer and die without healthcare in defense of the all-mighty profit-margin. Profits, profits, profits. They’ve become the sole respectable merit, and the defining drive of a corporate machine racing driverless, determined only to see how far it can go, how long it can persist. It seeks profit, and any destruction caused in this pursuit is justified so long as it has no effect on the net-gains.

We’re often reminded of what is owed to us: this illusive promise of life, liberty, and happiness. Of course, we are further assured, money cannot buy happiness. So it’s up to us to find on our own…just keep your hands off the profits.

Prophets are those people considered to speak in place of god or any other deity—often via divine inspiration. Like our recent discussion on the ‘Insidious Threat of Legacy’, prophets often represent an increasing distance from the so-called source material, and too often become cited as justifications for acts of violence and other atrocities which can in no other way be reconciled with their foundational beliefs.

It’s as prevalent a threat today as it ever has been.

Wars are waged in the name of prophets. Buildings are toppled in reverence to prophets. Ongoing conflicts over which prophet is to be trusted and which to be eschewed continue to enable the endless global uncertainty to which we are all subject.

Profits, and prophets—they aren’t so different in the end.

Both represent the false ideals of a misguided population. A life led in reverence only to that which can be gained; a sacrifice of ideals in order to defend the sanctity of a decaying value structure. Many religious communities seem to have turned away from worship of their actual gods, and are defined now by strict adherence to the prophets who have interpreted them. So too the governments of the world—who have turned away from their true purpose of protecting their state and citizens—wooed by the unscrupulous practices of corporate lobbyists who promise to redefine the national priorities.

How can these threats be rectified? If profits are not the only sufficient motivator for directing the course of society, and if prophets have proven an insufficient source of moral guidance, then where are we to turn?

If the value of profit is in what it can accomplish, and the value of prophets is in the ideals they represent, then perhaps chasing these equally-listless sources is the wrong approach entirely. Here at Brad OH Inc., we would encourage everyone to take some time to consider the foundation beneath each of these—and that is value.

What really matters to you? If you had all the profits in the world at your disposal, what would you make of them? If you could speak as a prophet to the people, what wisdom might you impart? If you are honest with yourselves, we believe you’ll find the answers are not so dissimilar. More importantly, and herein lies the essence of the issue—you may find that both profits and prophets are red-herrings, distracting us from what true happiness might already be available to us, if only we can disavow ourselves of these tired and misaligned notions.

-Brad OH Inc.

The Insidious Threat of Legacy

Under the Green Desk Lamp…

Green Desklamp

Every once in a while, something great happens. No, we’re not referring to the recently passed two year anniversary of the opening of Brad OH Inc., although we do appreciate the thought. Rather, we’re talking about the game changers—people and ideas which come along on rare occasions and totally revolutionize the way we look at the world.

This can occur in any of myriad realms of accomplishment or character. Political leaders, such as Mahatma Ghandi, religious figures such as Christ or Allah, even examples of high celebrity character—such as that of ‘The Ironman’ Lou Gehrig or ‘The Boss’ Bruce Springsteen.

These bastions of reason and decency act as shining examples for the rest of us, and their exceptional accomplishments often enter the public consciousness in a caricaturized and—arguably—dangerous form. I’m talking of course about the concept of legacy.

When certain ideas or people reach a status significant for their effects to become lionized amongst the general public, a legacy is created. A legacy refers to an ongoing tradition; something handed down from the past, one generation to the next.

For the purposes of this article, religion is an effective tool to discuss the dangers of legacy. Avoiding arguments of merit or believability for the time being, it’s held that the teachings of Christ were passed down, and formed a legacy known as Christianity. This happened, according to religious accounts, because the divine nature of Christ allowed for him to give us teachings of truth deep enough to forever change the way people interacted and treated each other. Most of these teachings, taken in the proper context, certainly do provide valuable insights into human understanding and the ideals of human behaviour.

Unfortunately, when a person, or more importantly an idea, enters the realm of legacy, the source of the related actions or beliefs takes on a dramatic and irreparable change. This involves the motivation behind the belief.

Whether we look to religion, historical role-models, or political idealists, the initial movement is always based on current circumstances, and motivated by—arguably—noble and relevant values. However once a thing becomes legacy, the motivation for following it is divorced of the initial values, and is tied rather to a sense of hero-worship. This turns general ideas into absolute truths—often with long lists of rules and potentially terrible consequences. This is seen in the formation of religions, governments, rabid fanbases, etc., and is a dangerous precedent.

When we attribute any reason for acting to another person or set of ideals, the action becomes dogmatic, and the virtue behind it bleeds out and is lost. We become little more than automatons acting on limited and inflexible scripts.

Continuing with our example, the teachings of Christ centred primarily on peace, love, and the forgiveness of transgressions. These were noble values in their day, and could certainly stand for a resurgence in modern times. However, many followers of these teachings have lionized the source while failing entirely to grasp the values. This inevitably has led to infighting, grandiose claims, and the spread of a religion of peace at the edge of a blade. The ‘idea of the idea’ is worshipped, while the true ideals behind it are lost entirely.

Legacy is baggage—a crutch for people too concerned with their own aggrandizement to ever endeavour to discover truths of their own. It’s an insincere approach from the start, centred on the notion that having a great leader’s face on a t-shirt is sufficient to convey upon the wearer the same moral high-ground of their inspiration.

But it hasn’t really gotten us anywhere useful, has it. Everywhere we turn, we can hear one buffoon or another calling out for a return to this set of values, or this person’s teachings. Aside from very rare exceptions however, these revolutionaries are inescapably mired in their own hypocrisy, and the extent of their conviction begins and ends with reference to its source.

It’s a faulty mindset, and one that needs to change. Clinging to the successes of the past without understanding their genesis is a hopeless approach to fostering lasting change.

The great tragedy of humanity is that we continually give too much credit to the past, and too little to ourselves. If we want the world to be a better place, we need to stop seeking perfect solutions, and start living up to our ideals rather than just hoping for the right set of rules to follow. Too often we look to the example of others while turning a blind eye to the actions of ourselves. This is the fundamental danger of legacy, and this is why, with the dawning of this New Year, we here at Brad OH Inc. encourage everyone to worry a little less about who they want to be associated with, and much more about who they want to be.

-Brad OH Inc.

The Illusive Nature of Anger

Under the Green Desk Lamp…

Green Desklamp

Like bad weather, lying politicians, the drudgery of Monday’s, or the social benefits of Corporate ambition—anger seems to be a topic that just keeps coming around. And well it should. Anger is a powerful emotion…capable of souring relationships, perverting logic, and arousing violent and hurtful reactions in even the most respectable of people.

These days, it’s an especially prevalent feeling. There’s no end to reasonable excuses for a little bit of righteous anger. The ongoing injustices of police violence, the stripping away of rights, securities and freedoms, and the decay of our democratic processes are just the tip of the iceberg.

There is little cause for doubt—anger may be the defining emotion of our modern day.

But what I’ve really been wondering about specifically of late is that noun: emotion. Is anger really an emotion? Despite the ingrained teachings of our youth, my experiences recently have had me questioning this classification. Upon reflection, I’m inclined to believe that anger is not in fact an emotion, at least not an independent one.

More accurately, I think anger is most often a reaction. When we talk about anger, we’re most often describing a series of visible actions or results: screaming, violence, reduced reasoning skills—all of these are ubiquitous and familiar indicators of anger.

But what’s the root cause behind them?

I can think of very few—if any—examples of anger as the root cause of an anger reaction. More clearly, imagine if you will a situation in which someone might act in an angry way, with no other emotion besides anger being the cause. I don’t think this is a common occurrence. In fact, I’m not sure it happens at all.

At the root of any such anger reaction—you will consistently find other emotions acting behind the scenes. Fear, frustration, jealousy, insecurity, and guilt are just a few of the most common culprits.

This is interesting for a couple of reasons. Firstly, when we try to process emotions, the first and most important step is to accurately label what it is we are experiencing. When we can define and put into context what’s causing our reactions, we’re better able to process them in a rational way, and thus solve our problems.

But when we describe ourselves as ‘angry’, I would contend that we’re describing only our emotional reaction—not the root emotion. This means that while we can give due warning of the madness which we might soon engage in, we are doing very little to effectively process our experience.

Secondly, like any good biological system, emotions exist essentially to solve problems. Just as hunger tells us that it’s time to eat, or pain warns us to protect ourselves, emotions give us feedback on social or environmental situations, and heeding them is key to improving our station.

If we feel jealous, we might work to achieve the object of our desire. If we are lonely, we might reach out to others for support. But is we are simply angry—we find ourselves stuck. We know we might make a bad choice, and certainly we will view ourselves with a victim mentality, but little is done to change the situation. More often in fact, our actions when angry serve only to worsen our plight.

If we’re able to step back and examine the base causes of our anger, only then are we able to make progress towards improving our situation. People protesting police brutality and racist court rulings are angry, for certain, but owning that emotion alone will get us precisely nowhere. Behind this anger lies fear, betrayal, a sense of isolation and injustice, and most importantly I believe—disappointment.

The world right now is an especially disappointing place, and it’s terribly rare to find examples of people—particularly those in power—living up to our expectations. Decency is something all but the most cynical of us were raised to expect. The basic decency of our fellow-humans might even feel like a natural right. But if so, it’s one long neglected.

And so as we watch banks get bailed out, workers forced into slave-like conditions for unlivable wages, the militarization of the police, and the complicit ignorance of the media, we may certainly feel angry. Perhaps even a good bit of rage. But it’s important to step back from this, and remember that there are many wheels turning behind the machinations of our fury.

We must expect better from people. But in the midst of our vehement objections, it is imperative that we remember its true cause. People, we believe, are fundamentally better than they are acting. No matter how angry this might make us, we must remember in the end to demand not an end to our anger alone, but a return to the days where we could rightly expect the best of each other.

-Brad OH Inc.

‘Of Pipers and Pigs’ Published on GonzoToday

cropped-blogbanner1.jpgWell, we have some exciting new today for all our fans here at Brad OH Inc. One of our ‘Single Serving Stories’, ‘Pipers and Pigs’, is now up for viewing on the incredible new site, Gonzotoday!

A direct link to this publication can be found here: ‘Of Pipers and Pigs’ on GonzoToday.

Gonzotoday is a new group dedicated to the creation and celebration of new age Gonzo Journalism; carrying on the admirable tradition of the late great Dr. Hunter S. Thompson in bringing the world stories of heavy import and sincere meaning wrapped in the rage and vitriol inherent to writers with open eyes.

The site has a lot of fantastic work on offer, so be sure to visit at Gonzotoday.com.

One thing you’re sure to notice upon your visit to this publication of ‘Of Pipers and Pigs’ is the incredible new artwork, conceived and created by the divine talents of the staff over at GonzoToday.

This is a serious change from our standard fare. If you’ve taken the time to peruse our selection of ‘Single Serving Stories’ in the past, you’ve probably noticed that the cover art for each sits somewhere between childish-cute and insultingly unbearable. Well, it’s true—the pencil-necked nitwit we have working in the art department at the moment is something of a pariah around the office, and achieved his position only by merit of dubious references and claims of knowing Brad OH.

Needless to say, his contract negotiation skills far outshine his prowess in the art department, but with a little time, we’re certain that the Corporate Efficiency Streamlining process will forecast the end of this sad little dweeb in no time.

Ahem…

Anyways, that’s enough ranting for now. Today is a day to celebrate after all, and what better way of doing that than swinging by Gonzotoday and reading ‘Of Pipers and Pigs’, or any of the other fine pieces available there?

-Brad OH Inc.

The Trial of Puff the Magic Dragon

Under the Green Desk Lamp…

Green Desklamp

Puff the Magic Dragon—Marijuana menace, or allegory for the temporal nature of youthful innocence? This is the topic we’ll be exploring here today at Brad OH Inc.

Since the song was recorded in 1963 by the folk group ‘Peter, Paul, and Mary’ it has been the subject of much heated debate. On the surface, the song tells the tale of a fictional dragon—Puff—and a little boy—Jackie Paper—who comes to visit him in the land of Honah-Lee. Together, the pals frolic about, experiencing wonderful childish adventures together and forming a lifelong bond.

According to critics however, this fun little song is more than it appears—for underneath the playful tune and heartfelt lyrics lingers a threat so insidious and vile, it threatens to shake the very foundations of our dear society.

That’s right; we’re talking about the reefer.

Now, here at Brad OH Inc. we aren’t inclined to pass judgement on anything which doesn’t directly harm people save by the enforcement of its restriction; but moral judgements are beside the point here. The question we seek to answer is exactly this: is ‘Puff the Magic Dragon’ really a subversive allegory for drug use, or is it simply the story of innocence lost which it purports to be?

Let’s consider the evidence. Critics of the song claim that the words ‘Puff’ and ‘Paper’ are overt references to ‘puffing on a joint’—a marijuana cigarette rolled in, you guessed it, paper! Further, the ‘autumn mist’ referred to in the song is accepted as a clear reference to either marijuana smoke or a general drug-induced state. Finally, the word ‘dragon’ sounds a lot like ‘dragging’, a term for inhaling from a joint. Together, these observations are said to support the notion that the song is indeed a secret love song to the society-destroying problem of pot.

Pretty shaky evidence if you ask me, but let’s consider the other side of the coin for a minute. If this song isn’t about smoking pot, as can potentially be extrapolated from approximately four words contained within it, then just what the heck is it about?

Well, if we are to be so bold as to interpret the song literally—based on the entirety of the words in it and the story they form when put in order, then the song is about something much less dangerous—although perhaps a lot more scary.

‘Puff the Magic Dragon’ is, if taken literally, about the death of imagination. Throughout the majority of the song, Puff and his human friend Jackie experience countless adventures travelling around Honah-Lee. Near the end of the song however, the lyrics reveal a strange and terrible twist:

“Dragons live forever, but not so little boys,

Painted wings and giant’s rings make way for other toys,

One grey night it happened, Jackie Paper came no more,

And Puff that mighty dragon, he ceased his fearless roar.”

What has happened here, exactly? Well, if we are to take the lines as literal, then we are hearing about how the young Jackie Paper has outgrown his childish fantasies, and stopped daydreaming about the imaginary dragon of his youth. The rest of the song continues, telling about Puff’s overwhelming grief at having lost his friend, and retiring sadly into his cave.

If the song truly is about drugs however, these lines take on a far more sombre tone. Jackie Paper moving on from Puff—taken to mean his use of marijuana—and onto ‘other toys’ might imply Jackie falling into harder drugs; a harsh warning of the potential for marijuana to act as a ‘gateway drug’. The remainder of the song, this being the case, would describe, I suppose, how sad Puff/ Pot is that Jackie Paper no longer partakes.

It’s a strange image, to say the least.

So what are we to conclude? How shall we interpret these abysmal accusations? Is ‘Puff the Magic Dragon’ a simple song about growing up, or a veiled glorification of Marijuana and other drugs?

Well, the evidence is circumstantial at best, and moreover seems to have been gleaned from the song with the pointed desperation of an addict crawling the carpet in search of dropped narcotics. Dim-witted word-associations form the thrust of the argument, with no attention paid to context, narrative, or stated intention (song writer Peter Yarrow has expressed repeatedly that the song was written with no hidden meanings).

But maybe that’s the point. There’s no shortage of irony in the fact that a song about the loss of innocence is plagued to this day by hair-brained nitwits trying to find illicit intentions behind something innocent and good. Rather, it’s the leitmotif of a society driven to find that darkness—raised to be suspicious of anything with pure intentions.

Puff is most certainly just a dragon. Sadly however, until people give up their steadfast determination to darken the world around them with hysterical hatred and paranoia, he will remain a dragon under self-imposed isolation, grieving for better times.

And what of these fiends so desperate for someone to vilify that they would make effigy of a beloved childhood image? Who can they pin their hopes on if not Puff, where can they find the satisfactions of conspiracy and blame they so desperately desire?

I don’t know. Go ask Alice…

-Brad OH Inc.

The Uncomfortable Issue of Population Control

purelyspeculationLast week on Brad OH Inc., we discussed the old and misconstrued ‘Fear of Big Government’. In that article, we explored the common revulsion toward the notion of government intervention in the lives of its citizens, and the ubiquitous but erroneous assumption founded by the repugnant Ronald Reagan that we need to get government ‘off our backs’.

The core thesis we developed in that article was that while the actions of many governments have been less than desirable in both past and present, the true purpose of government is the protection and promotion of its citizens—a function which should not be feared but rather revered. To these ends, there are certain central domains in which government control must undoubtedly be focussed, primarily: healthcare, education, infrastructure, stable wages/ living conditions, scientific research, promotion of environmental concerns, and access to food and water.

This is admittedly a very basic list, but it does provide a functional framework for government interventions. All efforts in these areas must—in any democratic government meant to represent the people—be aimed not at increasing profits for corporations and special interest groups which line the pockets of government officials, but rather at solving problems and promoting the general welfare of the electorate.

A quick peruse of these topics will, however, reveal one common and absolutely key concept for any government hoping to moderate over a well-functioning society; the uncomfortable and cringe inducing issue of population control. While money must never be the dominant issue guiding government practice, it certainly is an important concern when discussing support of citizens balanced against fair taxation, and as such the population size of a country is a crucial consideration.

Perhaps ‘population control’ isn’t the right term. Depending on where we are going with these notions, a better term might really be ‘population management’. If a government is to promote equity and access amongst its citizens, then central to its task will be the ability to understand the size and growth rates of its populace, and design an intelligent and functioning society to accommodate this.

At present, the ongoing fear of big government is serving its role well, rallying citizens to follow the lead of the unscrupulous political right in decrying government involvement in anything that might possibly help the general welfare and direction of the nation, while allowing it only in promotion of economic gain for involved parties. The results are clear as day; it’s a strange and subversive sign of the times, that it’s our poor who grow fat as our rich stay healthy.

Corporate needs dominate the political spectrum, poisoning our citizens and environment alike as record profits are posted and the ‘free-market’ is heralded as a success.

Naïve fools the lot.

So if turning the reigns over to profit-driven corporations and entrusting them to care for the people of the nation isn’t the right approach—and it most certainly is not—then what is?

The key issue here is not whether we must change the current system, but what system will fill its stead. An issue like population management is a heavy one to discuss beyond doubt, but it must be addressed directly and with honesty intention if we are to avoid it’s becoming a taboo issue discussed only behind closed doors by parties of questionable motives.

It is a driving issue, and must be discussed by the whole of the population to be managed. For even if we deny the issue, it will be a key factor in how we manage our economy, food stores, treat the poor, provide education and healthcare, etc.

Clearly, the more people exist, the more demand for resources, and in an unideal world, hence more scarcity. Even if we learn to plan our resources around population, and ever increasing population would lead to heavy sacrifices rather quickly. Ultimately, when it comes to the effective management of a population, there are, as I see it, essentially three basic approaches.

The first approach would be to simply accept that some people are less entitled to the productivity of mankind than others. This is most similar to our current approach. In this scenario, resource access would be determined by factors such as social standing, property/ business ownership, socio-economic status, and more broadly, location of birth.

Taking a stand such as this one, resources would be divvied up by priority, with some people gleaning great wealth and prosperity from our system, while an ever-increasing number receives very little.

A second approach—and the one which makes this such a delicate issue—is the more conventional definition of ‘population control’. A policy like this would demand a clear account of extant resources, and a broad understanding of what sort of lifestyle citizens are entitled to. From there, it would be a simple matter of division to determine the ideal size of the population, and steps—ranging from sterilization, birth limits, eugenics, or population culling—would be taken to make the numbers match.

This scenario has been enacted several times in the past, and represents some of the darkest and most horrifying eras in human history.

Neither of these approaches to population management result in the sort of society that I—and I should hope any of my readers—would hope for. So then we are left with the question, if not these failed methods, then what?

Given the incredible state society has managed to reach in spite of our past missteps, and the unspeakable potential promised by a commercially freed and unleashed scientific community, I believe we are entirely capable of creating a third, more ideal solution. I have little doubt that the combined power of modern computing, science, and human vision is able to design a system to monitor and anticipate both changes in population size and need, as well as existing resources. Such information would allow for a more dynamic and responsive means of addressing scarcity.

Further, in order for such a system to be created and maintained, increased government funding would be necessitated towards science, education, and healthcare—the lot of which would perforce be universal human rights if we are to expect any positive shift in the direction of our society.

A streamlined scientific community, coupled with an economy dedicated to the positive growth of culture and equity, would be fully empowered to find creative solutions to production, provision, and other means of positive population management through a system motivated not by profit, but by simply improving the general human condition.

Furthermore, one key long-term goal would be that of interplanetary exploration. This would provide for both an alternate source of resources, and ultimately alternate planets to inhabit and build upon. But this might be better discussed in a… future article.

The roots of these convictions have already taken hold. Examples range from innovative solutions to solving urban food scarcity (Link), to active attempts at subverting the mounting energy crisis (Link), to community based food-sharing programs (Link). It is by examples such as these that we will work actively towards solutions, rather than merely using obfuscated politics to justify corporate-manufactured deficits.

The end-goal here is to plan for the world we want to live in, rather than cope with the one we’ve created through greed and ignorance. But first, we need to change our priorities. A culture which focusses solely on profit, and defines freedom strictly in market terms, is forever doomed to the scarcity and inequality inherent to such ideals. It is science, not business, which must be unleashed; that, and the passion of earth’s good people—determined to build a better world. On this front at least, I remain convinced that scarcity is not an issue.

-Brad OH Inc.