Genocidal AIs: Are they Right?

Under the Green Desk Lamp…

Green Desklamp

The end times are a fascinating notion. Meteors crashing into earth, trumpets blowing, catastrophic nuclear disasters, uncontrollable pathogens…it seems there’s no end to humanity’s imagination when it comes to our own eventual extinction.

This makes sense of course. As discussed in our article ‘The Metaphorical Imperative’, the exclusive human ability to conceive of our own mortality leaves us with an overwhelming sense of existential terror. This applies primarily to our own lives, but with even a cursory understanding of the cerebral complexity of humans, extends easily to the human race as a whole. It’s no stretch then to understand the human need to create fantasies about how it might all end.

Among the litany of potential options for humanity’s demise, I’m particularly fascinated by the idea of a Robot-Apocalypse. In this scenario, the invention of AIs (Artificial Intelligences) by humans is the catalyst for our extinction. The idea generally goes that once a robotic AI is created, it will inevitably become self-sufficient rather quickly. The ability to ‘think’ in a human like way will allow the AIs to self-replicate, and also self-program themselves. Like evolution on a greatly accelerated scale, the AIs would be able to continuously improve their programming and design. Following this course, it would take little time for them to become far more intelligent and capable than humanity itself.

Now, this represents a particular danger. A continually advancing and ever-growing society of robots would represent a very serious threat to our own existence. Because of this threat, many science-fiction writers and machine-ethicists have considered how to prevent a robot uprising. The best known attempt comes from the writer Isaac Asimov, who created the infamous ‘3 Laws of Robotics’, which follow:

Asimov’s Three Laws of Robotics:

  1. A robot may not injure a human being or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm.
  2. A robot must obey the orders given it by human beings, except where such orders would conflict with the First Law.
  3. A robot must protect its own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the First or Second Law.

A fourth, or “Zeroth” Law was added later:

  1. A robot may not harm humanity, or, by inaction, allow humanity to come to harm.

These laws were to be hard-wired into the software of all AIs, theoretically preventing them from turning the table on mankind’s rule. Of course, these rules were little more than literary devices, and have inevitably been used to illustrate just how quickly such restrictions can come undone.

One common failure of these rules is that the AIs, in their ever-expanding wisdom, would begin to consider humanity itself as the greatest threat to its own survival—as well as that of the world. The AIs would process the ongoing damage to the environment, the threat of nuclear war, and other atrocities committed by humans on an ongoing basis, and in accordance with their own ingrained programming, move to prevent inevitable disaster.

Unfortunately, this usually involves wiping out mankind—or at least the vast majority of it. In some conceptions, a small population of people might be preserved in order to repopulate once the world is better equipped to deal with our innately destructive nature.

It’s not a very pretty picture for us, but in the advanced minds of the AIs, this might represent our best chance for long-term survival.

Of course, it’s a lot easier for the malfeasant machines these days; among other ill-effects, ‘Citizens United’ has rendered Asimov’s Laws of Robotics entirely counterproductive. If corporations are considered human, it should be immediately apparent how confusing the laws become, and what sort of abominable determinations the AIs may be forced to make.

This is all a lot to consider, and certainly makes for a rather sombre topic of conversation, but what I find myself wondering amidst all this terrifying rhetoric is: are the AIs right?

There can be little doubt that humanity is a terrible threat to itself and all other forms of life within our dastardly reach. On an ongoing and ever-accelerating basis, we’re ravaging our planet, destroying myriad ecosystems, running our resources dry with little thought to the future, and killing one another over trivial ideals and belief systems. If we can move past our own sentimentality, we’re left with the sad fact that we are a brutal, destructive, and dangerous species.

But we’re more than that as well. As the gears turn in their cold metal minds, processing all the turmoil and grief we create, would the AIs also consider our upsides? Can an AI appreciate art, or philosophy? Would their synthetic hearts be capable of processing the great acts of love and decency of which we are also capable?

If humanity is to be put on trial by these cold, calculating, and unbiased brutes, would we be found lacking? It’s a difficult thought to consider. Here at Brad OH Inc., we remain convinced that humanity’s promise is yet to be fully realized—that we are far better than we’ve been acting. Let’s hope we can buck this dismal trend before we actually manage to construct the arbiters of our own fate.

Do you think we’d pass this trial? Feel free to share your opinion in the comments section below (or alternatively accessed via the speech-bubble beside the article title).

A special thanks to Hal J. Friesen for helping in the research of this article. To read his great science-fiction related articles and more, visit Hal at: Hal J. Friesen.

-Brad OH Inc.

Ruminations of an Aspiring Super-Villain

Under the Green Desk Lamp…

Green Desklamp

I’ve had a pretty good life. As I look back, it’s all but impossible for me to deny it—I’ve been blessed. Of all the lives people lead, and all the myriad strokes of luck one might receive in birth, I really hit the figurative jackpot. I was born in a thriving nation, and into a loving family. I received a great education, have had no significant problems with my health, and have experienced absolutely no legitimate tragedies in my life.

Yeah, it’s enough to really piss a guy off.

As I think back on it, I’ve got to say it’s a bit unfair. So many potential catastrophes could have befallen me…and yet I come up short in every imaginable scenario that could have contributed to true greatness.

I’ve never fallen into a vat of radioactive chemicals. I’ve never been left an orphan with an inexhaustible inheritance. Hell, I’ve never even been the sole surviving member of a once proud race!

Holy hell, what’s a guy gotta do to catch a break? I mean, it would be nice to have some excuse to go ballistic and begin pursuing merciless world domination, don’t you think? But without a tragic origin story, doing so just makes you an asshole.

I feel like I’ve waited long enough. When do I get my chance to enslave the human race with a mind controlling radio-wave? And commanding an army of zombie-bears from the back of a T-Rex? Forget about it!

The factory in my town could have easily blown up, sending toxic gasses cascading down upon my home. I would have awoken in a post-apocalyptic hell, with nothing of my former life left, and only a painful cough to remind me of all I’d lost. But no, I guess that would be asking a bit much. So now, when I fantasize about creating a computer virus that turns the screens of all world-bank computers into scenes from ‘Where’s Waldo’ while channelling all extant wealth into my own offshore account—I just feel crazy.

With no heart-wrenching past to be angsty about, it’s pretty tough to be a maniac.

‘Oh Brad,’ you might say, ‘you can be anything you want if you just put your mind to it.’ Well to that I say you’d better check your damn privilege. Maybe you were wrongfully detained by law-enforcement while your family was burned before your eyes—but not everyone had villainy just handed to them on a silver platter.

Even if I wanted to launch a satellite full of dangerous pathogens into space, and hold the earth’s population hostage for enormous amounts of money, I would at the very least have needed to lose control of the majority of my body due to some biochemical accident in a forgotten Slavic town. But alas, I was raised happy and healthy.

Really, I’ve got to say there’s a disturbing sense of entitlement among the world’s evil-doers. You parade around wreaking havoc and causing general disarray, without even thinking about those of us who are cursed with being well-adjusted citizens. If I’m being honest, it makes me sick.

Whatever. Fuck it. I guess I’ll just do my job, and hang out with my friends, and all that other ‘normal’ stuff. But the next time you villains decide you’re going to poison the water supply with DNA-altering substances in order to sell the cure to the highest bidder, you’d damn well better consider reaching out. Otherwise, if ever a stray meteor wipes out my nation and leaves me charged with electrical powers but lacking all memory; struggling for years and barely clinging to life until finally raising myself up stronger, harder, and with an undying thirst for vengeance—you’d better look out!

Sooner or later, I will experience hardship; and when that day does come, those of you who’ve hoarded all the suffering to yourselves while leaving the rest of us to toil in tepid normalcy will have your reckoning. When you’re sitting comfortably in your lairs, stroking your Persian cat and watching the news on your wall-monitor, and you hear about me creating a mad cross-breed of giraffes and sharks, then turning the abominable creatures lose on Wall St.—then you’ll see my true potential.

Hard times and trauma are not a gift to be taken lightly. So appreciate what you’ve got, and hold on to that top spot while it lasts. Because let’s face it; I’m just one ‘wife-kidnapped by government agents in a terrible case of mistaken identity’ away from joining you on that mountain of chaos and lunacy. And when I do, you’ll wish you’d been more inclusive to those deprived of trauma in our formative years.

Just you wait…

-Brad OH Inc.

The Golden Goddess

Under the Green Desk Lamp…

Green Desklamp

They’re still out there. Oh, make no mistake about it; we still have our Gods and Goddesses.

It’s not religion I’m talking about. Not per se.

This is about the real Gods. The ones which move behind the scenes, the ones we actually look up to.

Gods and Goddesses abound in a place like this.

Made in his image—and all that.

I saw her with my own eyes: the Golden Goddess.

Until then, I didn’t even know I was looking for her. But passing through the supermarket, spending money to fill the void, she appeared before me at the magazine rack.

Hair flowing like spun gold, tussling over bronzed shoulders and cascading down a back arched with the pernicious poise of a predatory cat.

Her eyes shone like emeralds, gleaming with wanton hunger, and the eyebrows above were perfectly symmetrical, curved and inviting.

Her suggestive look left no room for misinterpretation.

It was only a passing glance. Then she was everywhere.

Every passing girl had touches of her within them.

All painted up in their revelations.

All decorated in their sacred garbs.

All repeating their hallowed sacraments.

All falling short.

Every man seeks her, and every woman strives to be her.

There are Gods as well.

Bound with muscles and tall as pillars, they call with different voices but similar promises. They tell you about things you’ll never achieve.

Paradise withheld—but almost attainable to the most prudent and savvy.

It’s something to strive for. At least in lieu of anything real.

They have bodies like humans, but more so. Digitally retouched beyond earthly proportions; sexual beyond human expectation.

Sex sells. It’s the most paid and prayed for thing there is.

And once you’ve known a Goddess, no earthly being comes close.

It’s happened to us all.

We chase our Goddesses, hoping to become a God.

We spend our money in pursuit of the holy ideal.

We withhold our affections for hope that our own Goddess is just around the corner—hold out, have faith.

You’ll never have one. You’ll never become one. They aren’t of this world. But for each deficit you find, you know there’s a solution down the next aisle.

Then another deficit, another product.

Flex your muscles alone in your room, hold them up to his.

Dye your hair.

Skip your meal—avoid temptation.

Push your breasts up in the mirror and let your proud shoulders fall along with them.

It can drive you mad.

But you’d have to be mad…to believe these things are real.

Yet you can’t risk giving up the chase. The rest are all so active, so close.

You can’t fall behind.

The next choice you make could get you to the Promised Land.

Who knows?

Why not?

What else is there to do?

Just keep your faith.

Just keep chasing the dream.

Just keep spending.

Maybe you’ll find her.

Maybe you’ll be him.

Maybe if you keep focussing on them, you’ll never have to see yourself.

-Brad OH Inc.

The Time for Giving

cropped-blogbanner1.jpgWell, this week marked the third Christmas that we here at Brad OH Inc. have had the privilege of sharing with you all. As we sat back and pondered what we might do this year for our reader’s, our ruminations turned inevitably to our first year, when we gave you all the heartfelt gift of nothing.

It was a fine gesture indeed. Hacking through the materialistic façade of Christmas and the infernal rat-race it breeds, we cut to the chase by pointing out that because the most ideal exchange of gifts should result in relatively equal satisfaction for all (in terms of the relevance and value of the presents given and received), the surest way of achieving that was to give each other nothing. So that’s what we gave you, and we’re certain you were as happy to receive it as we were to give it.

But two years have passed since then, and just as Bob Dylan predicted, times have changed. Nothing just won’t do. Now, we know that if there’s one thing necessary to choosing the right gift, it’s a deep understanding of the recipient. So we thought we’d look back and work on figuring out what to give you by considering exactly who you are.

Over the past couple of years, we’ve covered a lot of heavy topics together: we’ve discussed the misled ideal of Job Creation, the Religious Rights of Corporations, a study of Police Responsibility, the inspiring notion of Corporate Suffrage, a question of the Decay of Language, and so very much more.

Looking back, it’s easy to feel a little down about the prospects ahead of us. In fact, we’ve heard it said on more than one occasion that the writings of Brad OH Inc. have a tendency towards the pessimistic.

I have to admit, our little Corporate hearts grew a bit heavy trying to figure out a suitable Christmas gift with such a resounding sense of doom and gloom pervading the air. After all, what do you give to people who’ve seen it all? What desire can exist in a person without hope?

We were about to give up and fall back on the age-old tradition of re-gifting. Nothing worked before, surely it would do again. But no, that just didn’t feel right.

Then we got to examining that key assumption—is Brad OH Inc. truly such a negative place? If so, it’s certainly never been our intention. It’s not our goal to tell anyone how to think, or what to feel. In truth, we can assure you that you’ll find no answers here. We only raise questions and provide opinions.

Our utmost hope is to encourage others to speak out. The cretins that run this world are a depraved and savage lot. The best of them are blithering cowards, the worst…well, they’re far worse to say the least.

But if that’s all we thought of the world, there wouldn’t be much use writing about it. If the zeitgeist of the world is set in stone, then hammering away about it on a keyboard would be little more than propaganda. We at Brad OH Inc. take these issues on because they are worthy of consideration, and because our readers—past, present, and future—are the best equipped to take these causes as their own.

Behind the rage and vitriol so inherent to the writings here at Brad OH Inc., it must be understood that there is great hope. We write because the people of this world are better than they act, and it’s up to each of them—of you—individually to turn that trend around. We believe this is possible, and will continue tirelessly to encourage the process.

So, what to get? After thinking back on all these topics, we feel it fair to say at least that we know our readers, and thus the recipients of these gifts. Our readers are crude bastards, hopeful and naive fools, artists who believe that honest self-expression is the only true art, hippy freaks who long for a return of peace and love, frustrated ideologues who are too stupid or stubborn to give up. Our readers are the bright and shining nutcases who are mad enough to imagine that the world can be better, and brave enough to stand behind this ideal even when it seems like a lost dream.

Sadly, this does mean you’ll be getting nothing again.

But this year, it comes with a caveat. It’s not about fairness, or ideal gift-exchange circumstances. It is, very purposefully, an intentional reminder. You already have everything you need.

Just don’t forget to use it.

-Brad OH Inc.

The Illusive Nature of Anger

Under the Green Desk Lamp…

Green Desklamp

Like bad weather, lying politicians, the drudgery of Monday’s, or the social benefits of Corporate ambition—anger seems to be a topic that just keeps coming around. And well it should. Anger is a powerful emotion…capable of souring relationships, perverting logic, and arousing violent and hurtful reactions in even the most respectable of people.

These days, it’s an especially prevalent feeling. There’s no end to reasonable excuses for a little bit of righteous anger. The ongoing injustices of police violence, the stripping away of rights, securities and freedoms, and the decay of our democratic processes are just the tip of the iceberg.

There is little cause for doubt—anger may be the defining emotion of our modern day.

But what I’ve really been wondering about specifically of late is that noun: emotion. Is anger really an emotion? Despite the ingrained teachings of our youth, my experiences recently have had me questioning this classification. Upon reflection, I’m inclined to believe that anger is not in fact an emotion, at least not an independent one.

More accurately, I think anger is most often a reaction. When we talk about anger, we’re most often describing a series of visible actions or results: screaming, violence, reduced reasoning skills—all of these are ubiquitous and familiar indicators of anger.

But what’s the root cause behind them?

I can think of very few—if any—examples of anger as the root cause of an anger reaction. More clearly, imagine if you will a situation in which someone might act in an angry way, with no other emotion besides anger being the cause. I don’t think this is a common occurrence. In fact, I’m not sure it happens at all.

At the root of any such anger reaction—you will consistently find other emotions acting behind the scenes. Fear, frustration, jealousy, insecurity, and guilt are just a few of the most common culprits.

This is interesting for a couple of reasons. Firstly, when we try to process emotions, the first and most important step is to accurately label what it is we are experiencing. When we can define and put into context what’s causing our reactions, we’re better able to process them in a rational way, and thus solve our problems.

But when we describe ourselves as ‘angry’, I would contend that we’re describing only our emotional reaction—not the root emotion. This means that while we can give due warning of the madness which we might soon engage in, we are doing very little to effectively process our experience.

Secondly, like any good biological system, emotions exist essentially to solve problems. Just as hunger tells us that it’s time to eat, or pain warns us to protect ourselves, emotions give us feedback on social or environmental situations, and heeding them is key to improving our station.

If we feel jealous, we might work to achieve the object of our desire. If we are lonely, we might reach out to others for support. But is we are simply angry—we find ourselves stuck. We know we might make a bad choice, and certainly we will view ourselves with a victim mentality, but little is done to change the situation. More often in fact, our actions when angry serve only to worsen our plight.

If we’re able to step back and examine the base causes of our anger, only then are we able to make progress towards improving our situation. People protesting police brutality and racist court rulings are angry, for certain, but owning that emotion alone will get us precisely nowhere. Behind this anger lies fear, betrayal, a sense of isolation and injustice, and most importantly I believe—disappointment.

The world right now is an especially disappointing place, and it’s terribly rare to find examples of people—particularly those in power—living up to our expectations. Decency is something all but the most cynical of us were raised to expect. The basic decency of our fellow-humans might even feel like a natural right. But if so, it’s one long neglected.

And so as we watch banks get bailed out, workers forced into slave-like conditions for unlivable wages, the militarization of the police, and the complicit ignorance of the media, we may certainly feel angry. Perhaps even a good bit of rage. But it’s important to step back from this, and remember that there are many wheels turning behind the machinations of our fury.

We must expect better from people. But in the midst of our vehement objections, it is imperative that we remember its true cause. People, we believe, are fundamentally better than they are acting. No matter how angry this might make us, we must remember in the end to demand not an end to our anger alone, but a return to the days where we could rightly expect the best of each other.

-Brad OH Inc.

‘Of Pipers and Pigs’ Published on GonzoToday

cropped-blogbanner1.jpgWell, we have some exciting new today for all our fans here at Brad OH Inc. One of our ‘Single Serving Stories’, ‘Pipers and Pigs’, is now up for viewing on the incredible new site, Gonzotoday!

A direct link to this publication can be found here: ‘Of Pipers and Pigs’ on GonzoToday.

Gonzotoday is a new group dedicated to the creation and celebration of new age Gonzo Journalism; carrying on the admirable tradition of the late great Dr. Hunter S. Thompson in bringing the world stories of heavy import and sincere meaning wrapped in the rage and vitriol inherent to writers with open eyes.

The site has a lot of fantastic work on offer, so be sure to visit at Gonzotoday.com.

One thing you’re sure to notice upon your visit to this publication of ‘Of Pipers and Pigs’ is the incredible new artwork, conceived and created by the divine talents of the staff over at GonzoToday.

This is a serious change from our standard fare. If you’ve taken the time to peruse our selection of ‘Single Serving Stories’ in the past, you’ve probably noticed that the cover art for each sits somewhere between childish-cute and insultingly unbearable. Well, it’s true—the pencil-necked nitwit we have working in the art department at the moment is something of a pariah around the office, and achieved his position only by merit of dubious references and claims of knowing Brad OH.

Needless to say, his contract negotiation skills far outshine his prowess in the art department, but with a little time, we’re certain that the Corporate Efficiency Streamlining process will forecast the end of this sad little dweeb in no time.

Ahem…

Anyways, that’s enough ranting for now. Today is a day to celebrate after all, and what better way of doing that than swinging by Gonzotoday and reading ‘Of Pipers and Pigs’, or any of the other fine pieces available there?

-Brad OH Inc.

A Formal Tour of Brad OH Inc.

cropped-blogbanner1.jpgHello out there to our fine fans from everyone here at Brad OH Inc. Today, we thought we’d take the time to provide you with a formal tour of the place. After all, we know that fans of Brad OH Inc. hail from around the globe, and come from all walks of life and educational backgrounds. So if some of you can’t figure out how to use the navigation tools provided, or pale at the thought of exploring the page options on the top menu bar, we understand.

It’s our duty, as the responsible corporate entity we are, to ensure that even the simplest among you have the information necessary to get the most from your time here at Brad OH Inc.

Let’s start off with the (semi)weekly posts. Now, these posts, made most often each Sunday, are meant to be pretty straight-forward, and are even tagged under a variety of headings to allow a sense of the theme or topic right from the get-go. But that might be a little intellectually demanding for some of our less cerebral fans out there, so let’s just go ahead and outline the various post categories, and what exactly they are meant to represent:

(Note: You can click on the title of each category below to go straight to a list of all posts made in that category. This can also be done at any time via the little drop down menu directly to the right marked, ‘Post Categories’.)

Under the Green Desk Lamp:

‘Under the Green Desk Lamp’ is a regular feature here on Brad OH Inc. This category is the place for any sort of random musings to come off the reporting desks here at Brad OH Inc., and may cover such varied topics as philosophy, society, media, music, etc.

Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed in the articles of ‘Under the Green Desk Lamp’ are not necessarily the views and opinions of Brad OH Inc.

Purely Speculation:

‘Purely Speculation’ is a series dedicated to facilitating conversation on key political issues. It’s an open forum for Brad OH Inc. contributors to voice their opinions on any matter associated with political direction–ranging from economic systems to globalization. Each article is meant to stand separately, and it’s the hope of everyone at Brad OH Inc. that these myriad opinions lead to some productive debate among the readers here at Brad OH Inc.

Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed in the articles of ‘Purely Speculation’ are not necessarily the views and opinions of Brad OH Inc.

Requisite Things:

‘Requisite Things’ covers all functional topics here at Brad OH Inc. (just like this one). This is an opportunity for all of us here at Brad OH Inc. to address the reader directly, without the fanciful obfuscations inherent to ‘creative liberty’ and ‘artistic license’.

Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed in the articles of ‘Requisite Things’ are the express property of, and directly reflect the views and opinions of everyone here at Brad OH Inc.

That covers the basic categories for our weekly posts, but there’s more than that on offer here at Brad OH Inc. Along the top of the blog, just under our stylish Corporate banner, you’ll see a menu with several different options on it. The first two (‘Home’ and ‘About Brad OH Inc.’) should be pretty self-explanatory. If not, we very much doubt we can help you in understanding, as any efforts on our part would inevitably be suffocated under the crippling weight of your own illiteracy.

As for the other two menu options, these will take you to separate pages within the Brad OH Inc. blog, each dedicated to some of the bigger projects coming down the pipe from the contributors here at Brad OH Inc.

They are as follows:

(Note: You can click on the title of each page below to go straight to that page.)

Novels:

This is where you will find the novels currently underway here at Brad OH Inc. While all are currently in various states of completion, you can read about the general premise at this time, as well as view the gorgeous cover art for each.

Single Serving Stories:

Brad OH Inc. is proud to be able to offer its fans quick, accessible reads. Who’s never arrived home from a long days work, looked at their dusty TV screen, their tired old I-pod, or their unaffectionate spouse and thought- ‘You know, what I need is a nice short story.’

Well, we heard you! This page is a place to keep track of all the short stories released here at Brad OH Inc. Feel free to browse, download, and share. Indeed, we live in a world of single serving meals, soaps, relationships and sincerity, so why not crack open a single serving story and enjoy yourself?

Each and every ‘Single Serving Story’ can be downloaded directly to your computer from the links provided at the end of the descriptions. This will take you to ‘SmashWords’, a free online publishing site. From there, you can choose your format and download completely free. We recommend PDF, but there are other options as well. All stories are completely free of charge.

Finally, a few other tools exist to help you get the most out of your time here at Brad OH Inc. On the right, directly under the ‘Post Categories’ drop-down explained above, you’ll find a couple of options to help you keep in touch with us here at Brad OH Inc.

Firstly, you can click to sign up to the blog. This option will provide e-mail notifications whenever a new post is made, ensuring you’ll never miss a story.

Secondly, you can opt to follow our official fan-page on Facebook, which will provide updates for all posts and happenings related to Brad OH Inc.

The Gravatar profile provides a bit more information on this writer, while the ‘My Books on Goodreads’ link provides access to the Goodreads profile for all published works from Brad OH Inc.

Well, that about sums it up folks—a comprehensive tour of everything we have on offer here at Brad OH Inc. Hopefully this helps you get the most out of your time here, because if your lack of understanding keeps you from realizing just what an excellent service we provide, then our product doesn’t grow, and that means we just aren’t doing our jobs. So familiarize yourself with the site, and spread the word—it is the first Central Commandment of the ‘Corporate Religion of Brad OH Inc.’, after all.

-Brad OH Inc.

The Trial of Puff the Magic Dragon

Under the Green Desk Lamp…

Green Desklamp

Puff the Magic Dragon—Marijuana menace, or allegory for the temporal nature of youthful innocence? This is the topic we’ll be exploring here today at Brad OH Inc.

Since the song was recorded in 1963 by the folk group ‘Peter, Paul, and Mary’ it has been the subject of much heated debate. On the surface, the song tells the tale of a fictional dragon—Puff—and a little boy—Jackie Paper—who comes to visit him in the land of Honah-Lee. Together, the pals frolic about, experiencing wonderful childish adventures together and forming a lifelong bond.

According to critics however, this fun little song is more than it appears—for underneath the playful tune and heartfelt lyrics lingers a threat so insidious and vile, it threatens to shake the very foundations of our dear society.

That’s right; we’re talking about the reefer.

Now, here at Brad OH Inc. we aren’t inclined to pass judgement on anything which doesn’t directly harm people save by the enforcement of its restriction; but moral judgements are beside the point here. The question we seek to answer is exactly this: is ‘Puff the Magic Dragon’ really a subversive allegory for drug use, or is it simply the story of innocence lost which it purports to be?

Let’s consider the evidence. Critics of the song claim that the words ‘Puff’ and ‘Paper’ are overt references to ‘puffing on a joint’—a marijuana cigarette rolled in, you guessed it, paper! Further, the ‘autumn mist’ referred to in the song is accepted as a clear reference to either marijuana smoke or a general drug-induced state. Finally, the word ‘dragon’ sounds a lot like ‘dragging’, a term for inhaling from a joint. Together, these observations are said to support the notion that the song is indeed a secret love song to the society-destroying problem of pot.

Pretty shaky evidence if you ask me, but let’s consider the other side of the coin for a minute. If this song isn’t about smoking pot, as can potentially be extrapolated from approximately four words contained within it, then just what the heck is it about?

Well, if we are to be so bold as to interpret the song literally—based on the entirety of the words in it and the story they form when put in order, then the song is about something much less dangerous—although perhaps a lot more scary.

‘Puff the Magic Dragon’ is, if taken literally, about the death of imagination. Throughout the majority of the song, Puff and his human friend Jackie experience countless adventures travelling around Honah-Lee. Near the end of the song however, the lyrics reveal a strange and terrible twist:

“Dragons live forever, but not so little boys,

Painted wings and giant’s rings make way for other toys,

One grey night it happened, Jackie Paper came no more,

And Puff that mighty dragon, he ceased his fearless roar.”

What has happened here, exactly? Well, if we are to take the lines as literal, then we are hearing about how the young Jackie Paper has outgrown his childish fantasies, and stopped daydreaming about the imaginary dragon of his youth. The rest of the song continues, telling about Puff’s overwhelming grief at having lost his friend, and retiring sadly into his cave.

If the song truly is about drugs however, these lines take on a far more sombre tone. Jackie Paper moving on from Puff—taken to mean his use of marijuana—and onto ‘other toys’ might imply Jackie falling into harder drugs; a harsh warning of the potential for marijuana to act as a ‘gateway drug’. The remainder of the song, this being the case, would describe, I suppose, how sad Puff/ Pot is that Jackie Paper no longer partakes.

It’s a strange image, to say the least.

So what are we to conclude? How shall we interpret these abysmal accusations? Is ‘Puff the Magic Dragon’ a simple song about growing up, or a veiled glorification of Marijuana and other drugs?

Well, the evidence is circumstantial at best, and moreover seems to have been gleaned from the song with the pointed desperation of an addict crawling the carpet in search of dropped narcotics. Dim-witted word-associations form the thrust of the argument, with no attention paid to context, narrative, or stated intention (song writer Peter Yarrow has expressed repeatedly that the song was written with no hidden meanings).

But maybe that’s the point. There’s no shortage of irony in the fact that a song about the loss of innocence is plagued to this day by hair-brained nitwits trying to find illicit intentions behind something innocent and good. Rather, it’s the leitmotif of a society driven to find that darkness—raised to be suspicious of anything with pure intentions.

Puff is most certainly just a dragon. Sadly however, until people give up their steadfast determination to darken the world around them with hysterical hatred and paranoia, he will remain a dragon under self-imposed isolation, grieving for better times.

And what of these fiends so desperate for someone to vilify that they would make effigy of a beloved childhood image? Who can they pin their hopes on if not Puff, where can they find the satisfactions of conspiracy and blame they so desperately desire?

I don’t know. Go ask Alice…

-Brad OH Inc.

The Uncomfortable Issue of Population Control

purelyspeculationLast week on Brad OH Inc., we discussed the old and misconstrued ‘Fear of Big Government’. In that article, we explored the common revulsion toward the notion of government intervention in the lives of its citizens, and the ubiquitous but erroneous assumption founded by the repugnant Ronald Reagan that we need to get government ‘off our backs’.

The core thesis we developed in that article was that while the actions of many governments have been less than desirable in both past and present, the true purpose of government is the protection and promotion of its citizens—a function which should not be feared but rather revered. To these ends, there are certain central domains in which government control must undoubtedly be focussed, primarily: healthcare, education, infrastructure, stable wages/ living conditions, scientific research, promotion of environmental concerns, and access to food and water.

This is admittedly a very basic list, but it does provide a functional framework for government interventions. All efforts in these areas must—in any democratic government meant to represent the people—be aimed not at increasing profits for corporations and special interest groups which line the pockets of government officials, but rather at solving problems and promoting the general welfare of the electorate.

A quick peruse of these topics will, however, reveal one common and absolutely key concept for any government hoping to moderate over a well-functioning society; the uncomfortable and cringe inducing issue of population control. While money must never be the dominant issue guiding government practice, it certainly is an important concern when discussing support of citizens balanced against fair taxation, and as such the population size of a country is a crucial consideration.

Perhaps ‘population control’ isn’t the right term. Depending on where we are going with these notions, a better term might really be ‘population management’. If a government is to promote equity and access amongst its citizens, then central to its task will be the ability to understand the size and growth rates of its populace, and design an intelligent and functioning society to accommodate this.

At present, the ongoing fear of big government is serving its role well, rallying citizens to follow the lead of the unscrupulous political right in decrying government involvement in anything that might possibly help the general welfare and direction of the nation, while allowing it only in promotion of economic gain for involved parties. The results are clear as day; it’s a strange and subversive sign of the times, that it’s our poor who grow fat as our rich stay healthy.

Corporate needs dominate the political spectrum, poisoning our citizens and environment alike as record profits are posted and the ‘free-market’ is heralded as a success.

Naïve fools the lot.

So if turning the reigns over to profit-driven corporations and entrusting them to care for the people of the nation isn’t the right approach—and it most certainly is not—then what is?

The key issue here is not whether we must change the current system, but what system will fill its stead. An issue like population management is a heavy one to discuss beyond doubt, but it must be addressed directly and with honesty intention if we are to avoid it’s becoming a taboo issue discussed only behind closed doors by parties of questionable motives.

It is a driving issue, and must be discussed by the whole of the population to be managed. For even if we deny the issue, it will be a key factor in how we manage our economy, food stores, treat the poor, provide education and healthcare, etc.

Clearly, the more people exist, the more demand for resources, and in an unideal world, hence more scarcity. Even if we learn to plan our resources around population, and ever increasing population would lead to heavy sacrifices rather quickly. Ultimately, when it comes to the effective management of a population, there are, as I see it, essentially three basic approaches.

The first approach would be to simply accept that some people are less entitled to the productivity of mankind than others. This is most similar to our current approach. In this scenario, resource access would be determined by factors such as social standing, property/ business ownership, socio-economic status, and more broadly, location of birth.

Taking a stand such as this one, resources would be divvied up by priority, with some people gleaning great wealth and prosperity from our system, while an ever-increasing number receives very little.

A second approach—and the one which makes this such a delicate issue—is the more conventional definition of ‘population control’. A policy like this would demand a clear account of extant resources, and a broad understanding of what sort of lifestyle citizens are entitled to. From there, it would be a simple matter of division to determine the ideal size of the population, and steps—ranging from sterilization, birth limits, eugenics, or population culling—would be taken to make the numbers match.

This scenario has been enacted several times in the past, and represents some of the darkest and most horrifying eras in human history.

Neither of these approaches to population management result in the sort of society that I—and I should hope any of my readers—would hope for. So then we are left with the question, if not these failed methods, then what?

Given the incredible state society has managed to reach in spite of our past missteps, and the unspeakable potential promised by a commercially freed and unleashed scientific community, I believe we are entirely capable of creating a third, more ideal solution. I have little doubt that the combined power of modern computing, science, and human vision is able to design a system to monitor and anticipate both changes in population size and need, as well as existing resources. Such information would allow for a more dynamic and responsive means of addressing scarcity.

Further, in order for such a system to be created and maintained, increased government funding would be necessitated towards science, education, and healthcare—the lot of which would perforce be universal human rights if we are to expect any positive shift in the direction of our society.

A streamlined scientific community, coupled with an economy dedicated to the positive growth of culture and equity, would be fully empowered to find creative solutions to production, provision, and other means of positive population management through a system motivated not by profit, but by simply improving the general human condition.

Furthermore, one key long-term goal would be that of interplanetary exploration. This would provide for both an alternate source of resources, and ultimately alternate planets to inhabit and build upon. But this might be better discussed in a… future article.

The roots of these convictions have already taken hold. Examples range from innovative solutions to solving urban food scarcity (Link), to active attempts at subverting the mounting energy crisis (Link), to community based food-sharing programs (Link). It is by examples such as these that we will work actively towards solutions, rather than merely using obfuscated politics to justify corporate-manufactured deficits.

The end-goal here is to plan for the world we want to live in, rather than cope with the one we’ve created through greed and ignorance. But first, we need to change our priorities. A culture which focusses solely on profit, and defines freedom strictly in market terms, is forever doomed to the scarcity and inequality inherent to such ideals. It is science, not business, which must be unleashed; that, and the passion of earth’s good people—determined to build a better world. On this front at least, I remain convinced that scarcity is not an issue.

-Brad OH Inc.

On the Fear of Big Government

purelyspeculationLast week on Brad OH Inc., we explored the issue of government infringements into personal data. This is a serious concern to a great many people—and the striping away of civil liberties such as privacy is a trend which continues to show the detached relationship government has with its citizenry. With such gross violations becoming a regular trend, it’s no wonder we still toil under the outdated notion that ‘big government’ needs to be held in check.

But make no mistake about it people, this is no reason to hate big government; just bad government. In the 1980 presidential race against Jimmy Carter, it was the infernal idiot Ronald Reagan who promised to “get government off our backs” (Source). After taking office, Reagan followed through dutifully on his promise—shattering the government’s role in protecting families, citizens, and the environment. Business, of course, flourished.

This push by Reagan to reduce the size of government was founded on claims of a fictional ‘welfare queen’ getting rich off the tax dollars of the electorate, and the general claim—as off-putting now as it was then for a man seeking public office—that “Government is not a solution to our problem. Government is the problem” (Source).

This toxic line of thinking heralded in an era of anti-government dialogue which effectively allowed rights to shrink away as powers were handed off to the corporations. Social programs were cut, and people suffered. The fictional ‘welfare queens’ theorized by Reagan have been fully realized in the decades since, as corporations are given increasingly large portions of the communal pie: receiving corporate tax breaks, bailouts in place of bankruptcy, and taking eagerly the keys of governance from the discredited and disenfranchised democratic system.

Ever since then, people have been treating government like it’s a dirty word—perhaps because it so often acts like several of them. But fear of government is irrationally motivated, and exercised for all the wrong reasons. It serves only to allow government abuse of citizens. People must remember that proper governance is there to protect them, from exactly the sort of threats which corporate governance has become. We should not fear government; we should utilize and control it to our own empowerment.

Of course, the government has to remember this as well.

The very notion of democratic government is anchored firmly in the concept of representation for the people—and this includes all people, not merely the drivers of the economy. In this era of ever growing population and incredible scientific potential, the ‘free’ market has proven itself a failed notion. But let’s hope that from this mistake we’ve learned at least not to store the meat with the dogs for safe keeping.

It’s the government’s job to put these lessons into action: protecting and promoting the healthy growth of society. This is the primary and most fundamental function of any government which has a legitimate claim to authority, but the vilification of big government started with Reagan has led to a very different objective for government institutions.

By reducing government programs, the general citizenry has been left out of the conversation, while political control has been corralled into the realm of economic growth. The corporations which now run the economic and social systems are malignant automatons. For all the time humans have piddled away fearing robots or advanced and indignant AI’s, they miss that they have not only created such in the corporate human, but also given it the keys to the driver’s seat of our society.

If such a threat came from metal clad robots or from outer space, the entire world would be clamoring for government intervention. Instead, it is claimed to be ‘capitalist’ and a product of the ‘free’ market, and the electorate has bowed their heads in well-rehearsed reverence for their reckless and self-serving overlords.

The point cannot be stressed enough: it is the function of government–elected by and representative of the people—to reign in these brutes, to protect natural resources that rightly belong to all, and to ensure that whether or not commercial entities deign to send our jobs overseas (leaving all save the CEO’s destitute), the people of this and all other countries are provided for from the resulting bounty.

These are the needs of a society, and the job of the government. To fear such is the sole result of misinformed and malicious propaganda. What we have now is not a democratic government, and this needs to change. If we are to find our way out of these difficult times, it must be faith in government—true government—which is the light on our path. This is our salvation—for to fear all government is to leave ourselves alone in the dark, looking to the wolves for solace.

-Brad OH Inc.